There was once a stupid annoying penguin named Bonnie who was sixteen and in school. She was popular with the other penguins but they were kind of douche-bags and not deep and mature for her age like her so she would try to look like she was isolating herself herself and hide behind her hair and bite her lip and stuff.
One day in science class when this stupid annoying boy penguin name called Edmund sat next to her, bonnie bit her lip becose Edmund would stare at her in a way that would make her flipper quiver, which she thought was super cool.
Edmund started to sniff bonnie, which was strange and made her wonder if she was on her Yammahoolies, but then she remembered that she wasn’t. Anyways Edmund slid off before class was over and bonnie scrunched her face up and bit her lip again. She felt like such a douche-bag, and not cool, but she thought that maybe Edmund had not yet realised how super deep she was and so she bit her lip again.
In a forest during later time which is very difficult because forests are veeerry hard to find in Antarctica… almost impossible. Bonnie was biting her lip and hiding behind her hair be cause she was talking to Edmund in the forest in Antarctica because they had to get away from the other kid penguins who were all douche-bags and not deep like them.
Bonnie had her arms folded and was biting her lip and asking Edmund how come he was so fast and so strong and tings and didn’t look like the other penguins and was always staring at the other penguins like he wanted to eat them especially her... And Edmund said “say it” she was afraid but also excited also as well so she whispered “Leopard Seal…” and then Edmund asked her what leopard seals had for their supper normallys and she whispered “penguins” and he said yes but that he wouldn’t eat her and she got really turned on because she was a PSYCHO.
Bonnie jumped on Edmunds back and he started climbing trees which was AWESOME because they were in nature which is super cool and not like the other kid penguins who were all hanging out at the mall like douche-bags. The sun came out and Bonnie the penguin could see Edmunds shiny leopard seal skin, which was sooo beautiful it made her flipper quiver and so she bit her lip again.
Then Bonnie woke up in her bed and she realised that she was not Bonnie and not a sixteen year old kid penguin and not in school but instead was actually an adult grown up penguin who was twenty six and named Jennifer and working as a receptionist.
She had fallen asleep reading “Frosty Moon” which was the made up book about Bonnie and the leopard seal in the Antarctic forest badly written by an awful writer but which she thought was BRILLIANT because it made her flipper quiver but was actually stupid, annoying and more rubbish than used toilet paper.
Jennifer bit her lip and rang her friend Chloe on her penguin phone. They talked about how they are both liked Edmund the Leopard Seal and how they were both actually really deep thinkers and not like other people who all are mostly douche-bags.
Jennifer said goodbye to her friend then bit her lip and went to sleep but then in the night time a leopard seal broke up through the ice and did NOT have his way with her (which is what she initially thought was happening) but instead he ate her up for his supper.
Which she did not like at all. Not one bit.
OM NOM NOM…
THE END
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